A Strange Visitor

So yesterday and today I had a guest at my house. She is not someone that I know very well. You could call her an acquaintance of sorts. She is someone who I would absolutely LOVE to get to know better because she makes me feel very good about myself, which is not an often occurrence. But to be honest, she can be kind of tiring. She always wants to DO something. Now me, I could just sit on the couch all day and watch movies, but to her this is boring. and pointless. My guest the past couple of days has been MOTIVATION! Sometimes I call her ENERGY for short. She (and she can ONLY be a she, sorry guys) kicked my butt these past couple of days. Let me explain:

My week - Sat Night did clinicals from 7p-7a, slept for a few hours sunday and felt lousy, then felt guilty and got up and cleaned the kitchen up around noon, made dinner, and took Callie and Caden to a birthday party at 4:30 which lasted until 7:30 (again with the long parties people!) - and for you mollys out there that I love and strive to be, I wouldn't have taken her except it was one of her cheer teammates party, and they are close as pb& j. Anyway Monday I got my hair done (looks great, thanks girl!) and then did another clinical from 7p-7a. Tuesday I went to class from 9a-12p, and was pretty much a grouch the rest of the day.

But Wednesday who should come knocking at my door but MOTIVATION. She had in her hands a "to do" list as long as the eye could see. She said, "Girl, I had a feeling you needed some help getting going." And with a few magic words she took out all the "I'll get to it tomorrow"s and the "I'm too tired" or "What's the point?No one comes over here anyway" blues and put inside me her ENERGY. So in two days, I wrote a paper that I had been procrastinating for some time, (CHECK), I deep-cleaned the kitchen from top to bottom(CHECK), I taped off the kitchen walls and cupboards, which is terrifyingly time-consuming and difficult, and I painted my entire kitchen the wonderful color of red. I had no help whatsoever - oh if you call my kids dancing around me singing "we're painting the kitchen red, we're painting the kitchen red, we'll be sad to see if our mo-o-my falls down and bumps her head, cuz we're painting the kitchen REEED!" Big help. Huge. That and the dog walked through the paint. I saw funny little red paw prints on the floor and then it was a frantic "Catch him, Corinne . .Not on the CARPET!: But Corinne saved the day, as usual.
And let me tell you, if you don't already know, red is a difficult color to paint. You have to do at least 2 coats. I did 2 good coats and another half-aXX one. But it looks great! I know it is hard to tell from the pictures but it really does look good. If you ever come to my house you will see that I have a different color in almost every room. . it makes me happy. I also got an excellent chandelier with lamp shades that I prob should have put up before posting this blog. But I CAN ONLY Do SO MUCH, OK?! Geez. .:)
And then just when I thought ENERGY might like to take a nap, my dad shows up at the door. "What Now?" I am thinking, but I say "Hi, Dad!" He remembers when I have talked to him about putting in a garden and has decided to bring some wood and soil so we could build one together. .. . . . .today. . . . . . .right now. I looked back at my guest for some help and MOTIVATION over here just kicked me in the behind and said,"sounds great, Bro. Juchau! I can't wait to learn" Did I mention to you at any time that she is only an acquaintance of mine ? So my dad and I built a box out of wood in my yard for something called "square foot" gardening. - I guess you plant what you want in a square foot and dont worry about rows and then just plant the next thing over a square foot or so. It's for beginning gardeners with master gardener father's. . . like me. Just tell me how NOT to kill these things. thats all I wanna know, really. Should I talk to my plants? Sing? :) MY dad said water, soil, and sun is what makes plants grow. Phhoooeey! I retorted. He obviously knows nothing ;)So after digging a truck bed full of dirt out of my pop's truck and wheelbarrowing it to the garden spot 4500 times, it was done. . Doesn't look like there's much in it does there? Well I'll tell ya. my darling always-motivated father has a live in guest of his own. . . Mr. FORGETFULNESS. We don't like him very much, but we put up with him cuz well, he's with my father. So he will bring the plants tomorrow and I have to go get a soaker hose (WHEEE!)
So now I am beat. Completely, Physically exchausted.

But MOTIVATION, that damn woman, keeps whispering in my ear that I could still do more. So I grabbed all of the ENERGY I had left and made dinner, a good dinner that did not have mac-n-cheese or pizza anywhere in or near it. Then I read to my kids, read scriptures and prayed with my husband, and now I'm here with you. I really should have gotten a shoulder rub out of this somewhere, but ah well.My hubby is "too tired." O I'll get him for that one, dont you worry. I 'll wait til I'm good and sore and really pissed :)

Anyway, my friend MOTIVATION has gone on another adventure, she probably went to YOUR HOUSE, so get ready. She does not take NO for an answer, my friend. Just look at my picture and you can see how hard she made me work. .I'm not blushing, I'm HOT!! Now I get to write another paper for school, which I will procrastinate until tomorrow. (WHEW! She's not here anymore to push me to do that!)

My funny little boy. .

Ok..so kudos to the primary presidency for handing out cd's of the primary songs. My little Caden (4) wants to listen to it ALL THE TIME!! I mean I love "I lived in heaven" as much as the next gal, but sometimes I just want to listen to some good ole rock - n- roll..even some rap..anything a little more edgy than little kids singing church music.
So anyway, the music has brought all of these questions to this little guy's mind:

"Mommy, is Jesus in heaven?"

"Yes, Caden, he is."

"Where's heaven?

"No one really knows..but its far far away. It's a beautiful place."

" But I want it to be in the sky!!!!" (stomping feet)

"Ok Caden, it's definitely in the sky."

"Do I have to die to go to heaven?"

"Yep, it is a beautiful place we get to go to when we die."

(scrunching up his face in thought): "I don't think I want to go to heaven then."

"Mommy, is Jesus in my tummy?"

"No silly, Jesus is not in your tummy. He is in heaven."

"But He TOLD ME once a long long time ago that he was going to be in my tummy. But he's not there anymore cuz he's in heaven for a little while."

"Ok, Caden."


Just thought I'd share..you really had to be there, but it was so cute. Those of you who know Caden with his little teeny voice would have got a kick out of it. I'm really gonna miss these days. . .

HAPPY DAY

  Ok so I know it's probably not cool to post 2 days in a row, but I am still excited about this whole blog thing. I had a really good day today, which does not happen to me often lately on a sunday. First of all, people actually commented on my blog! I seriously thought no one would notice or care, so that gave me warm fuzzies. . . 

    In case you don't know, and you probably don't, I am completely and utterly shy. Well, shy is not necessarily the word because I can be outspoken at times. I would say that I probably have undiagnosed social anxiety disorder, undiagnosed only because I refuse to go to the doctor.   {FYI--most nurses are this way. We don't like going to the doctor because we know how little they listen sometimes}. Anyway, I get completely stressed out before I go to church or any church function whatsoever. I become this shell of my true self whenever I am at these things. I feel like everyone is looking down on me and ignoring me purposefully. I sometimes can sit on a bench by myself and no one will sit by me. I feel unworthy, ugly, and alone. I become completely introverted and even if you talk to me, I have no idea what to say for fear that I will say something stupid. So for those of you that thought I was just a snob, it's not true. I am scared.

   So for these reasons, I have not been great at attending church. But, I have decided to turn over a new leaf. I have finally decided that people don't purposefully do anything hurtful. I decided that if I want to fit in at church, I have to be proactive. So today, despite knots in my stomach, I said a prayer. I asked for help to be able to feel like I fit in in the ward and the ability to make some friends there. And He answered me. I got the feeling that I should try to be more like my hubby, who is always chatty and knows everyone. This seemed impossible, but I guess if I want an answer from God, I should follow his counsel. So, I took the time to say hi to people, and if I didn't know someone, I asked who they were and introduced myself. I forced myself to have conversations with people and ask how they were. It was so out of the ordinary for me, but it felt great! We even went over to someone's for dinner tonight that I had never even met before. . . all because I talked.  

   All of this probably seems retarded, but for me it is a big deal. I think I feel that I don't measure up to everyone else, and that they are  thinking it too. Like I have "doesn't belong here" posted on my forehead.. But I've GOT to just keep trying or else I will not ever feel differently. I think today I learned that it's all up to ME and no one else. And with His help I can do it. So thank you to those people who smiled at me today and talked to me and commented on my blog. You really made someone's day. I just hope I can return the favor.  

Introducing . .

   It's me, Jamee. My first post and I'm not even sure what to say. I never thought I would even do a blog, but look at me now! I see that it is how the world is starting to communicate now, electronically and I've got to hurry up and jump on the bandwagon. I have absolutely no idea what I'm doing, but I'm sure I'll get it in time. 

    So, let's see. I have been married to Jared for 6 years now. We live in Richmond, TX and we have 3 children: Corinne (who is actually mine from a previous marriage) - 7, Callie - 5, and Caden-4. They are beautiful and talented and crazy and frustrating all at the same time and I love 'em. I am an RN and am also going to school to get my Masters in Nursing and will eventually be a Nurse Practitioner. . someday. No, I graduate in December. My life consists of school and carting my girls to cheerleading, which is a monster in and of itself, but I will save that for another day. It is crazy and challenging and sometimes I don't know how I can do it anymore..but I still manage to go. I'm very disorganized though, which does not help at all. I try to make "to do" lists but just because I put it down on paper doesn't mean it's happening. Oh and to top it off, we have a cute little yorkie named Oliver. He is about 6 months old and just got fixed --thank heavens! So much less pee on the carpet now. 

    I love to sing and play the piano, although I have not done either for a long while it seems. I love to scrapbook and I LOVE to watch movies. If I could somehow be a movie critic, I would do it in a heartbeat. If you've seen it, I've probably already seen it. :) I am trying to lose weight and it is HARD. I lost 20 lbs in 2 months --December and January of all months, and I don't even know what I did except not pick up my fork! But February went by without a pound lost and March is droning on. . . I gotta get back on the saddle. 

   Anyway, I don't know if anyone at all is going to read this, but if you do, feel free to comment and let me know how you are doing. 

P.S. Today I took my daughter to a birthday party and it was 3 1/2 hours long! Ugh! That is WAY too long to be at a birthday party for someone you barely know. Keep that in mind when you plan your next event. . .